Sometimes I wonder if my neighbours can see into my kitchen windows. If they can, they may occasionally get a glimpse of me doing ballet in front of my stove. I’m not too worried about them thinking I’m crazy, though, since I’ve gone out drinking once or twice with a few of them. They already know I’m crazy. Problem solved.
It’s become part of my daily routine. Need to get something from the fridge? Arabesque or bourrée across the floor to get there. Have to turn the light off over the stove before bed? Take some time first to practice pirouettes (I’m surprised I haven’t worn a hole in the floor in that spot). Now it’s gotten so bad that I stand in relevé or turn, turn, turn when I’m waiting for my dinner to cook (or heat up in the microwave, if I’m being lazy).
Hell, I even do that last one at work sometimes.
But it all HELPS. I posted back in January that my goal for the New Year was to get over my fear of turning, and I’m pretty sure I have. I still worry about falling — it’s a lot harder to bounce back up at 26 than at 6! — but I have finally found the fun in turns. A few weeks ago, I could barely complete one pirouette successfully, but now I’m finally getting the hang of it… more or less. Tonight I almost “made it a double” starting from sous-sous! It’s so exciting to feel like I’m starting to make progress in ballet, and it’s been an interesting experience to realise that the main thing holding me back from said progress was my own fear of failing.
My only hope now is that I can be half as good in class as I am in my kitchen.